Last Sunday, I asked if any NFL team was actually good. I’m going to double down on that after Sunday’s Week 3 action.
When the dust settled after a hectic day, only 14 teams were above .500. One is the Bears, who won a food fight against the Houston Texans on Sunday with quarterback Justin Fields throwing for only 106 yards in the win. One is the New York Giants, who get to face Cooper Rush on Monday.
The Jacoby Brissett-led Browns, train wreck Denver Broncos, and resurrected Jaguars are also above .500.
On Sunday, Josh Allen, Tom Brady, Patrick Mahomes, and Justin Herbert all lost.
The Eagles and Dolphins stand atop the league. The Bills, Chiefs, and Ravens are on their heels.
The rest of the league is a hot mess.
Here’s where each team stands after Sunday’s Week 3 action.
32. Las Vegas Raiders (0-3): How soon can Josh McDaniels go back to Foxboro to help save Mac Jones’ career? Head coaching just isn’t his thing.
31. Seattle Seahawks (1-2): At least the Seahawks have to be happy for the haul they got for a seemingly washed Russell Wilson.
30. New York Jets (1-2): It sounds like Zach Wilson could return in Week 4. The Jets need it. The season is circling the drain along with Robert Saleh’s head coaching career.
29. Houston Texans (0-2-1): The Texans play hard for Lovie Smith. That’s all you can ask of a team still clawing its way up to find the ground floor of its rebuild.
28. Atlanta Falcons (1-2): Get Kyle Pitts the ball.
27. Washington Commanders (1-2): Carson Wentz was a disaster Sunday against the Eagles. He was sacked nine times and threw for just 211 yards in an embarrassing performance.
26. Tennessee Titans (1-2): Derrick Henry had 65 yards after contact Sunday against the Raiders. Whether that says more about him or the Raiders remains to be seen.
25. Chicago Bears (2-1): The record means nothing. Justin Fields has completed just 23 passes this season and looked abysmal Sunday. Things are going to get worse. A lot worse.
24. New Orleans Saints (1-2): Who saw a Dennis Allen-coached team playing poorly? Oh, right. Everyone.
23. Carolina Panthers (1-2): Would Matt Rhule prefer to move to Omaha, Auburn, or Atlanta?
22. Detroit Lions (1-2): The Lions booted away a chance to beat the Vikings on Sunday. At least Week 4 brings a date with the Seahawks.
21. Arizona Cardinals (1-2): The Cardinals have managed to hold a lead in regulation through three weeks. Seems noteworthy.
20. Pittsburgh Steelers (1-2): I’ve seen enough of Mitchell Trubisky. It’s Pickett Time.
19. New England Patriots (1-2): Mac Jones’ decision-making and ball security were pluses coming out of the draft. That hasn’t been the case this season. Perhaps Bill Belichick should have invested in a quarterback coach to tutor the future of the franchise.
18. Dallas Cowboys (1-1): Cowboys-Giants should be a real slop fest on Monday night. But there’s no way it’s worse than what the Broncos and 49ers just put on display. Right?
17. New York Giants (2-0): The Giants are winning against Cooper Rush and Justin Fields from starting the season 4-0. I want off this ride.
16. Indianapolis Colts (1-1-1): The Colts held the Chiefs to fewer than 20 points for just the sixth time since the start of the 2018 season. Take a bow, Gus Bradley? (What universe is this?)
15. Cleveland Browns (2-1): Myles Garrett said the Browns’ defense held a players-only meeting to talk about “pretty girls and fast cars.” It seems like it worked. Well, maybe they just played Mitchell Trubisky.
14. Cincinnati Bengals (1-2): The Bengals’ offense got its groove back against the Jets. Watch out.
13. San Francisco 49ers (1-2): Have we ruled out the possibility that an angry Jimmy Garoppolo is a sleeper agent? Not a lot of other explanations for his play in Denver.
12. Los Angeles Chargers (1-2): Brandon Staley should be fired for leaving Justin Herbert in the game down 28 points with a rib injury. What are you doing?!
11. Denver Broncos (2-1): Nathaniel Hackett might want to fire the game-management guru he hired. Someone find this guy someone who has played Madden.
10. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-1): Urban Meyer is probably walking around Columbus right now wondering who No. 16 on the Jaguars.
9. Minnesota Vikings (2-1): We’re sending Kirk Cousins to London? Haven’t they been through enough?
8. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-1): Tom Brady and the Bucs’ offense have scored just three touchdowns in three games this season. That’s… an issue.
7. Los Angeles Rams (2-1): The Rams have been underwhelming through three weeks, and yet, they’ll have a chance to put real separation between themselves and the 49ers with a win next week.
6. Green Bay Packers (2-1): The Packers’ defense is legit, but I still can’t buy them as contenders until Aaron Rodgers conjures up a No. 1 receiver in his next vision quest.
5. Baltimore Ravens (2-1): Lamar Jackson is your early front-runner for MVP.
4. Kansas City Chiefs (2-1): Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs tripped over themselves in a confusing loss to the Colts. Still lots of kinks to work out in KC.
3. Buffalo Bills (2-1): The Bills ran 90 offensive plays and lost. How is that even possible?
2. Miami Dolphins (3-0): If the 2022 Dolphins wind up as the last unbeaten team this season, will the 1972 Dolphins pop champagne when they lose? (Yes.)
1. Philadelphia Eagles (3-0): The Eagles are a wagon rolling over everyone in their path.
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